Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Mental Preparedness

My mind is on mental overload right now.  100 services to change, cancel, move, or transfer, magazine subscriptions to reroute, banking to figure out (even though almost ALL of our bills are directly taken from there), health insurance to figure out (quickly), boxes that need to be packed, a house that needs to be sold, utilities to be figured out here, actual moving logistics, and all of the regular stuff that has to be done on top of that (you know, the cooking, cleaning, child rearing stuff that already dominated every moment of my - ahem - free time... what is that again?)  Anyway - it's a little easy to say that I'm preoccupied... horribly preoccupied.

And I say horribly for this reason.

Let's get real honest, shall we? 

I have a great peace about moving, am excited even, as odd as that sounds. 

But it'd be foolish to think it would be a cake walk considering I'm leaving behind everything I've ever known.  (Aside from my hubs and kids.)

And I'm so thoroughly preoccupied that I'm not seeing that forest for the trees.  I'm not seeing or even 'feeling' very well because I have so stinkin' busy. 

Good - on one hand, because it isn't giving me much time to waller in the idea of leaving and make a bigger deal of it than what it has to be.

Bad - because it is something I need to be mentally and emotionally preparing myself for -and I'm just a little afraid that we'll get moved, and normal routine will someday return (at least I think it will - I'm starting to wonder at this point), and I'll feel a severe sense of loneliness, or will regret being so busy these last couple of weeks to the point that I didn't get to see the people I wanted to see or do the things I wanted to do before leaving.

Yet - I don't really have a choice in this busy-ness.  There's nothing to really be able to 'cross-off' - so my prayer, currently, is that God would be emotionally preparing me, making me much more open-minded than I normally tend to be - and create in me a little bit of extrovertism (I made up that word) to make some great friends quickly down there (not to replace the ones I have - I'd never wish for that - but to prevent the loneliness.) 

So that's my mental spill today - trying to not freak that my house is a mess and it very much resembles my brain at the moment...


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