Sunday, October 10, 2010

When I Put Jesus First

I have to start by being very honest.  I have a tendency to be impatient, easily frustrated, bitter, spiteful, arrogant, and lazy.  For those of you who just know me, I try to mask this the best I can.  I put on a good 'front', in fact, I don't even know that I'd call it a front, it's easy for me, most of the time, to be kind and respectful to others.  To those of you who know me, and I mean really know me, you've probably seen one or more of the listed characteristics come out from time to time.  If you are in my family, though, namely my husband and son, you may know them all too well. 
Don't get me wrong, I'm not abusive, awful, or completely terrifying to be around, but I felt it important to make the point that it is a constant struggle for me daily to not lose my temper when Bryton throws his block (that is not a ball) after I've reminded him 3 times in the last 30 seconds that we don't throw blocks.  Especially when I can see on on his face that he's testing me. 
It's even more difficult for me to maintain a positive attitude when Aaron comes in happy, and Bryton and I have had a challenging day, which is rare, but happens. 
But if I can take a step away from my pride for a moment, step away from the situation, and really look at myself for a second, I can see that if I'm really putting Jesus first, that the opportunity to properly discipline (root word: disciple) my son may not only leave us both feeling a little better, but would be much more effective as well. 
I realize if I'm really putting Jesus first that my husbands positive attitude should be a blessing to me, not an object of frustration. 
Granted, all of life isn't butterflies and gumdrops, and there are definitely those circumstances that test and try us, but I have to remind myself when all else is put aside to put Jesus first and my perspective on everything else normally changes. 
It's not always easy, but who ever said it would be?

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