Thursday, April 14, 2011

So I'm Cheating --

I really want to get on this blogging again... so I'm writing a post this evening and telling it to actually appear tomorrow (when you will actually be reading it...) Why?  Because this is one free time of day I actually had, and because I've already posted once today... err, yesterday to you who are reading this... you know what I mean...
So anyway - I thought I'd take this ten minutes before I go to bed to give a short update... here is the generalized news:
Life has been hectic around here.  Aaron has had more 'church' stuff than usual, and me, well I'm still trying to adjust to life with two children in the home (or at church, or in the grocery store, or in a restaurant, etc.)  On top of all of the craziness, Bryton decided to get sick a week or two ago... like "threw up all over our floor for the first time ever" sick!  It's really sad, but honest, to say that I didn't even know what to do with him.  I've never had to clean up throw up before.  (Nor do I remember a time when my mom did.  I got sick sooooo often with my migraines that I learned at a very early age how to hit the trash can every time, and to be more honest, I don't understand how people "can't make it" to the nearest canister of some sort.   Granted, I know a two year old can't, but come on adults.)  Anyway... of course I was in the middle of bottle feeding Ansley when all of this happened, and I was at home by myself.  Fun.   Long story short, that was the only puking episode (praise Jesus), but we fought a 103 fever for almost three days, resulting in a very lethargic little boy.  (Not to mention trying to keep Ansley as far away as possible.)
In other news, at the same time we were and still are fighting the Gregg family plague, constipation.  Figures, we just get Bryton figured out and now Ansley's starting with her own set of issues about it... so we're back to prune juice in almost every bottle.  It's a battle I really don't want to battle with her until she's almost two, like we had to Bryton.  We're praying that God will get her little system figured out for her and this would prove to be a short lived thing.
On Aaron's front, he on a whim (well, at least it was a whim) to me, decided to buy a new guitar (and sell two of his old ones).  I pretty much sit back and watch these transactions happen, it's just easier that way ;)  I did get the opportunity to take a day and go to Guitar Center with him to 'play some'.  He ended up buying one the other night, and he's pretty sure he'll be happy with it.
Me?  Well - I'm struggling with the mental / emotional wants and desires that go against my physical limitations right now.  Need me to clarify that... how are these examples to confuse you:
  • I'd love to be able to pack up both kids in the stroller and take them for a walk every morning (how's that for being over zealous).  The pain and pressure that I'm still feeling, plus the pollen and the allergies that are plaguing our house right now, are making that impossible... and keeping us locked inside.
  • I'd love to be able to get out during the day to take the kids to the mall or something, but two at the age they are at vs. one tired one (me), equals a disaster.  I've not been willing to take that risk yet. 
  • I've successfully 'got into' all of my pre-pregnancy clothing... jeans and all.  The problem, I'm happy one day with the girl in the mirror (I mean, after all, I did just have a baby six weeks ago), and another day I think she's hideous (what if you have that little pooch forever, Alicia?)  It makes getting dressed in the morning realllly daunting.  And to be honest, I've worn sweats and t-shirts for way too long!
  • I'm back in familiar territory with some granulated tissue in my 'healing process.'  With Bryton it took one silver nitrate stick (ouch), and I was a new girl the next day.  This time I was told I had two spots of granulated tissue (one which I didn't even know about), so we did the silver nitrate stick again this time (not so much ouch this time around), but it sure isn't helping the one area that I knew about at all... seemingly.  (Oddly enough, this particular spot is a mystery as to why it is there or how it got there.  It's not in a place I was torn or cut or anything.  All I know is it hurts like the dickens... some days more than another... but it's really getting on my nerves.)  And despite hearing 1,000 times from 100 different people "it's going to take awhile to heal, your body went through something traumatic, she was 10 pounds" I still wonder if I'll ever completely feel 'good' again.  I'm sure I will, but I think I'm seeing another silver nitrate stick in my future... and I hope that is all it takes. 
  • And lastly, for the mental / emotional vs physical capabilities:  I'm a control freak, and if I get something in my mind that needs to be done, I want it to be done now... sooo... say I've just snuggled down with Ans to give her a bottle... a good 20 minute feat, sometimes longer.  And I just get that bottle put in her mouth when I notice that I've not put the diaper bag away, nor have I unpacked it.  Then the entire time I'm feeding her I'm thinking about that dumb diaper bag that is just sitting there screaming to be unpacked and put away.  I know, it's ridiculous.  It will still be there when I'm done, but still yet... I'm thinking about it... and that spawns another 12 things that I'd like to get done in the 10 minutes I'll have of 'happy time' with Ansley before it's time to start getting her ready to go back to sleep.  I know what I need... a clone, or another arm, or a robot that I can make my slave.  Hmmm, I may have to take that last one into consideration.  
So anyway, that's what I'm doing lately, just trying to figure out life, and get back to 'normal' as quickly as possible... more like, defining a new normal right now.  Each week feels a little bit more 'normal', although each week is proving to have it's challenges.  I'll be happy when we can have a week minus any plans... and for those of you who know me, I'm a planner and a doer - but this momma is tired right now and just wants a whole day to lay in bed, sleep, and maybe read a book.

I see that happening in about 10 years... as long as I'm not with kids at ball practice.

Oh well - it's the greatest blessing, and I'm thankful for it.

Until next time -

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