This time of year has a tendency to be so busy. Good busy, but busy still.
This year, in effort to combat the busy-ness and keep Jesus in it all, we've started a daily advent scripture reading and craft. The material is great. It only takes about 15 minutes out of the day, and our advent tree (where the 'craft ornaments' hang) is coming together nicely.
But somedays, that even seems too much.
And, yet, I have to believe that we don't understand what too much even is...
The Lord moved me many weeks ago to start from the beginning again in His word, so I've been reading nightly as the Lord leads. I'm currently in Exodus, so in reality, I'm not even to the hard stuff yet.
Yet - it seems so hard.
As I began Exodus 25, when the Lord starts laying out all of the requirements for how things should be made, so detailed, so precise, no illustrated manual, I'll admit, not only did I find myself glancing across much of it (and to my frustration making myself go back and read it), it also occurred to me that had I been the one to whom the Lord had given the instruction... I just may have bailed.
I'm ashamed to say it. I really am. But I know where the scripture is headed. I know we've only begun to lay out the Law. I know how doomed we all are under the weight of it. I know that my life would be utterly consumed with the burden, only to be destined to fail.
And I really don't believe I could overlay gold the right way. Seriously.
The whole revelation has really brought me to a new level of thankfulness of God's grace, but also to a new understanding of the relief of His mercy.
Not only does He offer grace and forgiveness and mercy... but He leads us to Himself, at the appropriate time, as He has put us in that time. In other words, I may very well be right that I would have utterly bailed on the Lord's direction had I been alive in the time of Moses, yet, knowing me, before I even was, God ordained my timing as here and now to bring me to Himself. He does it, not me. Which brings me to the turn-around, that maybe, had I been in that time, God would have worked in my life to make me obedient. Maybe not.
All in all - there's a great relief that has come with the debt that has been paid, out of my hands, apart from my understanding, outside of anything I could accomplish or do on my own. He opened my eyes, He led me towards Him, and He removed the chains and the burden.
He is so good.