Monday, November 30, 2009

Something a little Personal

So, I think about everything. Most of you have realized that by now. So, I've started writing B letters here and there. I tell him daily how much I love him, how proud I am of him, that he is precious to me, and I realize that he can't understand that right now. He understands that I'm there for him, that I'll comfort him when he's hurt and feed him when he's hungry, but there's so much more I want him to know... even if he has to read it later. So, I've started writing him letters. If something were to happen to me, I'd want him to know what a joy he was in his mother's life. So, don't expect to see many of those, but I wanted to share this first one. Here it is:

To My Precious Baby Boy –

It’s just past your first birthday. I cannot believe how much you’ve grown! I feel like I’ve blinked since I could feel you moving around in my tummy, and now you are walking across the room! You have gotten big so quickly!
I want you to know, Bryton, how much you’ve changed mommy’s life. You have made me a better, less selfish person. You make me want to try new things, invest more in the people I love, and have more fun with life. I’m not as afraid of failure now, as I see the many things you are learning everyday, the many times you have failed, and I get to be there for your ultimate triumph. Had you not failed, you would not have succeeded. Please don’t ever be afraid of failure!
As your mother, I am so proud of you! Your little smile completely warms my heart, and I get so much joy from watching you learn, play, and live. You always make me laugh, and, to be honest, my life will never be the same now that you are a part of it.
B, I also pray for you everyday. I pray that you will find Jesus quickly, that you’ll obey Him and love Him in such a way that it will change the decisions you make in life. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I love you. The depths of my love are deep, and the love is thick. But much deeper than my love for you is Jesus’ love for you. He will always love you better than I, or any other person, ever could. He’ll always guide you better than I ever could. And, B, as wonderful as I think you are, you need Him. Without Him you can’t do anything. Without Him you have no joy. My prayer for you, my precious child, is to have the joy that we can’t always understand, to have a Savior there for you during every trial and every triumph in your life, and to love God with all of your heart. God’s love never fails, He never grows weary, He does not get tired. Regardless how big or how small your problem, Jesus is enough.
No matter what, baby boy, never forget your mother’s love for you, always try to love the people God places in your life, make good decisions, don’t be afraid of failure, always put God first, and be sensitive to the needs of others. Embrace sacrifice, some of your greatest gifts come from sacrifice. Love those that appear to be unlovable, and pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. Especially when you don’t want to. When you think something nice about someone, say it. It’s better to compliment too much than not enough. Choose your battles wisely. Only the ones you’d be willing to die for need be fought.
You are sleeping as I write this. It’s rainy outside. We are two days away from Thanksgiving, and like usual, thoughts of you continually pop into my mind. In just a short year our lives have changed so very much, but dear Bryton, below Jesus it is your daddy and you that fall next on what I’m thankful for this year. God has given me great joy through you, and He has taught me a great deal about the love of the Father by allowing me the privilege of knowing and loving you.
I look forward to all He has in store for our lives together. I love you, precious.

Now until forever –

1 comment: