Once a Dreamer

Once I was a dreamer.

There was a time when I was told I could 'be anything I wanted to be', I could 'do anything I wanted to do.'  There was a day I believed it.

The time came with the shift that I could {and should} do anything that God called me to do.  I was encouraged to identify the desires He'd given me.  And I dreamed.  Man, did I dream.  And I believed He could achieve it through me.  Not the faith of a mustard seed, the faith of a mountain.  No money? No problem.  No access? No worries.  He's called me to it, He'll accomplish what He's set out to accomplish.

And I dreamed of the day that those dreams would become reality.

And fear beckoned.
Doubt emerged.
Discontentment settled.
Discouragement abounded.
Abilities rusted.
And faith dissipated.

The dream grew cloudy.
Far from reach.
Unrealistic.
Unattainable.

The grind ground them to dust.
The American Dream may have stolen mine.
I'm not even sure what the dream was anymore.  Or what they are.
And I wonder...

Did I miss it?
Am I too late?

Here's to praying that the God of grace
would shower it on a doubter, would forgive the fearful, and would restore just a mustard seed of faith
that He is not done with me.
That there is more than this.
That the dreams I was given...
That the desires of my heart...
were not mine alone...

but were His to begin with,

And may He fulfill in me His purpose, for His glory and His renown.