Friday, March 28, 2014

Many Hats - A Personal Vent

"Good Moms Have:
Sticky Floors 
Messy Kitchens
Laundry Piles 
Dirty Ovens
& Happy Kids"

We've all heard it or read it.  Most of us have probably posted it to pinterest or facebook or some other type of social media.  I'm not here to speak for anyone else except myself, so this isn't calling all of the other moms out there liars, but I'm calling myself out:  It's a front.  

Is there some truth in the quote?  Maybe.  It's implied that the kids are happy because mom is spending time with them rather than doing the cleaning of the home.  

But what if mom is working a second job?  Or what if busy-ness has taken over and the family is never home?  Or what if mom can't get off facebook?  Let's call it what it is. 

I'm here to say this, I've posted this quote before to ease the guilt on myself that I've not had time to get the house clean, and I haven't had happy kids. 

Take now for instance.  I'm working two part time jobs, on crazy hours, that have allowed me to see not one of my son's baseball practices or games.  I'm feeling that I've lost vital communication with my spouse.  Two nights a week I'm not here to put my kids to bed, another night my husband is not.  I'm having a hard time keeping up with whether bills have been paid, or what week we have snack for baseball.  My mind flutters between what needs to be fixed today for tomorrow night's dinner, and about when the dog's next shots are.  Speaking of dog... I wonder if he's been fed today.  Most days, I'm not even sure what day it is.  I wake up in the morning panicking that, since I've slept, I could have over-slept.  What day is it again?! 

The to-do list is never ending, ever growing.  I have three baskets of laundry full of clothes that, though miraculously been cleaned, have not been put away... not to mention the three piles on my bed that I had to empty OUT of the baskets to refill.  Six loads of clothes... to put away.  And probably six more to put in.  My floor has MAYBE been vacuumed two times in the last eight weeks, bathrooms cleaned twice, floors mopped once, and let's not even talk about dusting.  

My idea of a perfect day has gone from a family day out taking into a Cardinal's game, to a cleaning crew coming in and completely deep cleaning my home, a nice massage alone and a NAP.  

Do I have a clean house OR happy kids right now?  No on the first.  Doubtful on the second. 

It feels ridiculous complaining.  Life could be SO much more difficult.  But I'm tired.  

Emotionally.  Physically.  Spiritually tired. 

I'm wearing so many different hats, from mom to wife to teacher, to women's ministry coach, to employee, to school mom, etc, that I can't seem to get one off fast enough to put another on.  

And I reiterate... life is not that hard. 

I have to feel like I'm not alone in this!?  Really, there has to be more of us, hidden in the wood work, putting on shiny smiles and switching hats until the point that everything piles up and piles up and our heads explode on our dirty floors and the whole thing caves in.  

And I feel that moment coming.  And I'm seeking the Lord and repenting... as I'm heavy laden and without rest.  I'm praying for a lighter yoke.  I'm praying for rest.  And maybe for a maid to clean the house... 

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