The past many months I feel I've been holding my breath.
Life has been -- dare I say it... good. Granted, there was a death in the family, and yet another death in the garage (via a car accident only days after the death in the family), so it's not that there haven't been some gray areas, but all in all, it's been good.
My kids are a blessing. A is talking and hugging and into everything, and she's just gorgeous, let me tell you. I don't know that you can understand it outside of being a parent to a girl. Lord forbid someone ever tell her otherwise, after I smack the stupid out of them I'll mention the way she shrugs her hand around when she's explaining something, or the way her smile reaches her eyes, so sincere. I'll tell them how sweet her voice is when she talks and how contagious her laugh is.
And B, B has been more loving and cuddly than he's ever been. Just the other day I was able to drop him in his classroom for school (dad usually does this), he ran off from me, as he usually does, to go play with his friends. At one point, he turned around and noticed me signing him in and he ran back through the room to give me a big hug. He's learning to read. Heavens. How did we get here? He's got glasses that somehow make him more handsome than ever. He has to be one of the sweetest, most caring kids I've ever met.
I'm blessed I tell you.
My husband works hard, is attentive, loves his children, and helps without grumbling (most of the time :) ).
We have a vacation planned for the year. The first. family. trip. ever. (for JUST our family).
Between all of the above, and the absence of health issues among other things, life just feels good.
I'm so fortunate to be led in worship by my husband each week. Today we sang this chorus:
"All I know is I'm not home yet,
This is not where I belong,
Take this world, but give me Jesus,
This is not where I belong."
And I felt God whisper to me, "It gets even better than this," and I know it's true. I know that despite the current absence of difficulties and the enjoyment and contentment I feel right now (which could change tomorrow, I remind you), none of it compares to the beauty, excitement, fulfilling pleasure that will be standing in the presence of Jesus someday, and for that I'm thankful.
I'm thankful that as good as life feels now, one day it will be immensely - and eternally - better, not to be dampened by the threat of looming circumstances, but a forever reality of living in what we can only know now as 'the best is yet to come.'
Until then - I'm forever grateful for a loving God who not only saved me, but lavished upon me such rich blessings. Even if I'm stripped of them all tomorrow, I'll know that I've been given much more in this life than I've ever deserved, much more than I could ever earn, much more than I could have ever dreamed of.
He is good.